Learn to Love Yourself

Sunday, January 4, 2015

SCHOOL STARTS

School starts tomorrow! 
I'm starting back, well actually I'm attending, you could say, for the first time. 

2 other times I attempted school. The first time I was just 21....funny, I signed up with my sister who is 16 years older than me....she was 37. I am now, 37. Anyway, we signed up at community college together. I don't have to say what obviously happened to me.....I dropped out. I wanted to party and not study....AT ALL! So, when it came time for our first quiz,  I knew nothing. I stood up, went over to the teacher with my quiz in hand...and said, "Nothing you taught is on this quiz." Well, she informed me that the quiz was on the material she assigned us to read. So I walked out. Just left. I felt relieved really. Now I could go to the bar every night and not have my sister, with whom I was living, get on my case. Of course, she works in computers, for some company. Traveling around the U.S. showing people how to use some software. And me....well, I'm just beginning. 

The second time, I had my son...he was 4. I was living in my mom's basement apartment. I had been clean for 3 years at this point. Well, I just started dabbling.  So I get the idea, probably high one day, to go to school again. I signed up, but by the time school started I was in full active addiction. Physically addicted.  So needless to say I think I went to 2 classes at the most. 1 class one day, and a different class a week later. I couldn't even make the 2 classes the same week.

So why then, now...I'm when I'm struggling to stay clean...am I going back to school? I can't give you an answer. It just feels right. I believe my situation now is different. I believe school will put me on the right track. I'm trying to stay clean this time. Not trying to get high.